An unexpected twist.....

So a few days went by and I didn't hear from Jason. I figuered he had either forgotten, didn't really care, or was dead. I was completly wrong. Damn was I wrong! It had probably been 5 or 6 days before he called me and explained his story. He said after our conversation that night he didn't do any dope and hadn't done any since. That very night he went to someone's house (I forget who's) and ended up getting zip tied, robbed, and beat to hell. But he didn't do any dope. I guess the people were going to kill him when a few of his friends found out where he was and came to get him. After that he called his sister (also on the recover and relaps, recover and relaps drug plan) to come get him. Crazy!! When he called me he had been at his parents' house coming down from the drugs and recovering from the beat down for a few days. Although still bruised and cut, he felt he was ready to see the baby, and so was the rest of his extremely excited family. I agreed. The next day I took my daughter over to his parents house and introduced her to the other half of her DNA!

The middle of a never-end..........

There was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I was going to let this man into my house (which was actually my sisters!) and expose my family, especially my newborn to this person. I walked, well more like ran, into the house and rattled off my new find to my sister and her husband. I asked them to watch the baby for me so I could take him to get some food and talk more about the situation. To say the least they were in awe. Completely stunned and half-ass confused they agreed. So on the way I asked him what he's been up to, a stupid question on my part, and he told me. His time mostly consisted of getting high, stealing cars and probably a host of other things to fund his addiction, and a lot of blackout time that he just doesn't remember. To be honest I really don't remember what he said, but I know it wasn't good. I believe by the time this conversation took place he had moved from smoking meth to slamming it. At some point he got shot in the leg and almost died from a blood poisoning but that's really all I remember of the conversation other than him saying a few times "I have a daughter?" So we get to Jack in the Box and I order him 2 double cheese burgers and a large strawberry soda and I order chicken strips with Franks red hot sauce and a coke. After a minute we both realize that this was the exact same meal we ordered the very very first time we met! I am really surprised he remembered that or anything else for that matter! We head back to my house after we order and sit outside in the driveway while we eat. We just bullshit for a while and then it's time for him to leave. Places to go, people to see, dope to do I guess. I gave him my cell number and he gave me his I believe. I told him if at some point he gets sober and wants to be a part of the baby's life, please do so. No drugs and no bullshit though was the stipulation. He was so far gone already by this point that I figured I shouldn't hold my breath.

In the beginning....

In the beginning things between me and Jason were great. Aren't things usually great though when you just start seeing someone? We talked, had great sex, went places, bought things, it was all good. All good until I discovered he had meth addiction. All good until I discovered he wanted me to dedicate ALL of my time to just him, to the point where he asked me to stop working to just be with him. It got pretty overwhelming so I broke it off. We were together at that point for a mere 2 months. I had started dating someone else and then it happened.....I found out I was pregnant. Uh-Oh! Unfortunately for me I was with the both men sexually around the same time. I knew in my heart that the baby was Jason's but still there was the slight possibility of it not being his. I told Derrick, my new boyfriend, that I was pregnant and what the situation was. So he knew FROM DAY 1, that there was a slight chance, and I mean SLIGHT chance that the baby could be his. I felt that telling Derrick was the right thing to do and I don't think I would be alone in thinking that. Anyway..... I didn't tell Jason that I was pregnant. At the time my rational was that I would rather do it all on my own then have my baby subjected to the lifestyles of a meth addict. Time rolls on as it does, I get HUGE!!! Like an extra 70 pound huge! That wasn't all baby, imagine that!! July 22nd comes and here I have a bouncing baby girl. Prior to delivery and with added pressures from various family members, I had decided to try and find Jason because drug addict or no, he still had the right to, at the very least, know he had a child coming. I drove around this parents neighborhood trying to remember the street, the way his parents' house looked, anything I could. All I remembered was that his sister had a white van at the time which later on I found out she no longer had by the time I went looking. I couldn't find him, so I gave up. My baby girl was born in July and life goes on as it normally does. October of that same year rolls around. I was hanging out at home with my sister, her husband and kids, and her friend. They had asked me to go to the corner store to get them some more alcohol so I left. I went in and bought them the Smirnoff they had asked for and was on my way out back to my car. As I was opening the door to leave I saw Jason. He looked terrible. He was so skinny, just bones it looked like. His cheek bones protruded and his eyes were sunken in. His lips and fingernails were had a blue tint to them and his eyes were black and hollow. He was just barely hanging on to life and looked as though he was going to fall down and die at any given moment. I wanted to get in my car and leave so bad but instead I called out his name. He asked me to wait for him and went in the store. I waited. When he came back out we were talked for a minute or two and I just blurted out "You look like you are about to die and how long have you been up?" I was shocked at his reply. He told me about a week and a half, he thinks. HE DIDN'T REALLY KNOW!!! We just stood there silent for a minute. He looked at my car and kind of did a double take. "Is that your carseat" he asked me. I told him that I had a daughter that was 3 months old. He just said "Oh". It took him a minute and I could see his fingers move as though he was using them to count. He was. He said "Is she mine?" I told him what the situation was and then asked him to get in the car so I could take him to get something to eat. He locked "his" car up and we left. I put his in quotes because it was stolen. Thats what he did, he stole cars. He said he wanted to come in and see her but not like that. I agreed. I certainly didn't want my daughter, no matter how small, or my family to see him like that.